Friday, August 13, 2010

Needing

This is, once again, not for me.

I have a friend who needs me. I think. At least, much of the time we talk, I am being a comforter, or a counselor. I think this friend also needs to be needed. Things they've said, about wanting to help me as much as I help them. I feel bad for not... needing them. It's strange, I'm not sure how much I do need them. I'm not sure if I need to be needed by them, or if I'm simply responding to their need. At the same time, I wonder if not needing them in the same way that they need me is because I don't trust them. It certainly isn't because I have different needs. I'm human too.

All this is to say, do you need this?

I don't need this. Not right now, I don't need to blog. I have my band, I have my notebook, and - yes, more than before - I have God. Maybe I'll need this again later, or just less frequently.

But do you need this?

And if you don't need it, do you need me to need you?

Honestly, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't write little posts like this if it is what you want. It is no tax on me. But if you need me to need this, I don't really know what to say.

Tell me what you want from me.

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