Monday, November 9, 2009

(untitled)

In my heart there's a God-shaped hole
it's bigger than I'll ever know
I've poured everything I've got into it
I've poured everything the world's got to offer
Like filling the ocean one teaspoon at a time
Like counting the stars
Only more infinitely impossible
Is filling this hole on my own.

I was taught, and thought, that everything could be done.
But maybe my open mind has been left blank
Been emptied out like an open bank
Everybody I see - the ones with the hole filled -
I think "they're lying, that contented perfection can't be real."
Standing like a homeless man, with a crude cardboard sign
"Someone save me from myself."

And I put on my headphones to silence my doubt
I grin and kick up my heals to hide my handicap
Smile and wave, like life's a play, to hide the way I really feel
Nobody knows the real me, if they did they're run away.
I snarl and scream at the hypocrites, behind the safety of my own mask.
If that mask were transparent - though - you'd see me crying
The hole in my soul choking out "take me home."

I've been wandering all my days like a sick, unwanted stray
looking for a place to stay as I walk my weary way
searching for home.

2 comments:

  1. "if that mask were transparent - though - you'd see me crying / The hole in my soul choking out 'take me home.'"

    Yes, yes, yes. I know.

    Also,
    "looking for a place to stay as I walk my weary way / searching for home." Hmmm... Now I wonder if it matters where we stay, if it isn't home.

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  2. "If that mask were transparent - though - you'd see me crying / The hole in my soul choking out 'take me home.'"

    Mmmm, that's going in my quote book.

    Thank goodness God didn't create us to live our lives feeling like that.

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