language barrier

I decided to play soccer for Milford Christian Academy for one reason. It wasn't because they're a good team, it wasn't because I didn't like rec league. It was because I wanted to fix my language. I knew, when I joined the team, that Mrs. Peterson (the coach) had very strict language standards. In rec, there are no language standards, so playing there naturally brought out the worst in me. I wanted to fix that, so I chose to play.

You see, when I play soccer, I get very angry. I'm still unsure if this is right or wrong, but I channel my anger into playing better, it gives me energy, it gives me motivation, and it makes me perform better. Unfortunately, there's a limit to how much anger I can channel into playing, and when I go over that limit, my mouth is the only place for the extra anger to come out.

Well, I'm surprised, really, that I lasted this long. I made it three games and nearly a dozen practices without getting in trouble for swearing. But, it was bound to happen eventually, and today, it did. Today, my mouth went badly wrong. Thankfully, I have a coach who knows how to handle that kind of situation. I was benched for the rest of the game. I'm glad I was.

I know this isn't just about a lack of self control. It's a heart issue, and I want it fixed. I've been saying bad words in my mind for a long time, and today what was on the inside came out. It's a warning signal. Something's wrong on the inside. So I'm trying to fix it. That's what I'm on the team for. I'm trying to get rid of the influences in my life that would encourage me to use language. I'm asking for forgiveness, and finding it, finding redemption, but also finding that is isn't enough just to say I'm sorry. I'm trying to change, and that's why I'm playing soccer for Milford Christian Academy.