Friday, April 23, 2010

I and Love and You

Thought of the day: telling people, "I love you."

I went to Mass Hope today. That was different. Lots of homeschoolers. Lots of people who are home schooled. (the latter was mostly NCFCAers)

The speaker, Eric Ludy, led the teen track and talked about relationships. That was... helpful? I don't know, it's the reason I was there, anyway (my parents liked his book).

One thing he said, and I've heard it before from Bill Gothard, was that guys should never tell girls "I love you," unless they're serious about marrying them. The reason, I suppose, is that it's cruel to give the impression of being more serious about your relationship then you really are. Don't get hopes up, don't break any hearts, don't hurt someone with careless words. All things I believe. But, hmmm, I've told girls that I love them - and I have no ambitions for marriage at this time - so... have I been doing it wrong? I guess, maybe, I have. But I also didn't lie when I said "I love you." C.S. Lewis's Four Loves talks about four different kinds of love (duh.) I would say that when I say/said "I love you," I meant it in friendship and affection, not a romantic way.

So, should guys say "I love you," to girls, even if it isn't romantic love? I think sometimes, yes. The idea behind not saying "I love you," is that you don't want to communicate feelings that don't exist, which is - I believe - a noble goal. But as long as you're making yourself understood, I think it's a good thing to tell people you love them affectionately or as friends.

Hm. Thought of the day. (I had, figuratively, two thoughts all day. This one, and "man, I am so tired.")


  1. Yeah, I was thinking about that too.

    I mean, I understand what his intention is, and what he means, I just simply . . . don't agree.

  2. I had similar thoughts to both of those.

  3. Whoa. I didn't even go to MassHOPE and I like, just got this talk. Weird star alignment.

    Also, why is living so freaking complicated?!

  4. I'm probably too liberal and carefree for my own good - but I say we should just try to love people and not be so freaking scared about getting our heart broken.
    love people. (love people romantically.) break up with people. hurt.

    Why are we so self-preserving?
    I think we lose a lot by trying to save ourselves from pain...

  5. @Grace: The idea, at least, to me, seems to be about saving others, not ourselves, from pain.

  6. yes.
    but maybe that's only our job up to a certain point...

    I'm not sure.

    I'd just rather take the risk than not...
    (as long as the other person is game)