Saturday, June 6, 2009


Why do we object when others manipulate us, when we manipulate ourselves? Is it the manipulation that we object to, or what the end of the manipulation is?

For example, I'm feeling complacent right now. I am perfectly happy to sit here, eat potato chips, and listen to my Starfield radio on Pandora.

Rewind twenty-four hours.

I have a headache from cramming physics formulas, reading the sparknotes pages for the subjects I'm taking, and mourning my imminent failure.

Now, I'm trying to decide if I should preserve the last-minute-panic state of mind that I was in last night in order to prep for nats and finish school before the next semester starts. I could, concievably, create a false sense of urgency. And, (in the process of creating it) I tell myself that it really isn't that false, Nationals is coming up, and I really should finish that school before I start summer theater. Right? I can come up with excelent reasons for throwing off this state of complacency, and taking on the state of urgency that I had last night.

So, I could minipulate myself. I probably ought to.

But, for some reason, I object to having somebody else (say, my mom) telling me all of those reasons for adopting a state of urgency. I'm like a vantriloqiusts marionet that refuses to be voiced by anybody but itself. The end result, is inaction, a marionet cannot move its mouth, and it cannot speak. ie, I'll do nothing. Idiot.

I'm not going to try to answer the question. I think I just did.

(Part 2)

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