Friday, June 26, 2009


Can innocence be regained?

Before robotics, I didn't tell "your face" jokes. I knew they existed, but I thought they were just dumb, no reason to say them. I valued wit, responses that were original and actually funny. So, I didn't tell them. I do now (needless to say) and I do so because of robotics. At robotics, we tell "your face" jokes.

I also didn't used to tell "your mom" jokes. I thought that they were rude, and so I didn't tell them. I do now. Because of robotics. At robotics, we tell "your mom" jokes. I became accustomed to telling "your face" jokes, and then became accustomed to telling "your mom" jokes.

I also didn't used to tell "that's what she said" jokes. I didn't know what they meant, so I didn't tell them. I do now. Because of robotics. At robotics, we tell "that's what she said" jokes. I became accustomed to telling "your face" jokes, and then became accustomed to telling "your mom" jokes, and then became accustomed to telling "that's what she said" jokes.

It's hard to say why I fell down that slippery slope. It might be because I wanted to be part of the group, I wanted the rest of the team (most of whom had been around longer than I) to accept me. I followed the crowd. It might be because of the way we talk at robotics. We speak in a language consisting only of sarcasm. When we say something, we use a tone exactly opposite to the tone we really mean. Since we all do it, there isn't any confusion. If you're having trouble doing something, and somebody helps you, instead of saying "thanks" you say "I hate you, I almost had it." And instead of saying "your welcome" they'll say "n00b, you just got owned." So, it might have been because of this, because we separated the intent from the words, I didn't think that telling "your face" or "your mom" or "that's what she said" jokes were a problem. Because I didn't mean them. I justified it by saying that it was insincere. (there's a whole other post I have to write about insincerity and sarcasm)

The problem is, now I do it, and I don't like it. Through something that may or may have started out innocently, my mind is now defiled. I hear set-ups for those jokes and say the punch-lines out loud or in my head all of the time now. And I can tell that it's wrong.

So, the question is, can I regain my innocence?

I know one thing for sure, I cannot do so by my efforts. I tried that, remember. And I wasn't even sorry about it, I was only sorry that I wasn't sorry. My efforts alone are going to get me nowhere.

But what about with grace? I know that all things are possible with God. But can the scars in my mind be healed? Can the dirt be removed, wiped away? I hope so. Not liking myself isn't enough. Wanting to change isn't enough. Trying to change isn't enough. Accepting God's grace is enough. I must humble myself, if I want to find innocence again.

You should know by now that your darkest hour is when your broken heart goes down. It's a bitter end when the sweet begins, Grace is sufficiency. But, oh dear, we'll never deserve it, no dear, we never could earn it, now, here, the choice is yours. Grace is high and low.


  1. Well, that was an inconsiderate answer I posted on the forum. :-/ I shouldn't have ended with "I don't know." Grace is enough. I think the answer is yes, innocence, whatever sort, can be regained. I just... don't know when.

  2. Well, I can give you the advice I've taken myself. I've asked God to "Baptize my mind" more meaning to guide my thoughts away from this kind of jokes, they're funny...but they shouldn't be. And We ought not to think of them. And I think that we can regain that innocence by learning to be offended again.

  3. I starting telling "your mom" and "that's what she said" jokes simply because they seemed to be the "new" joke. I thought people would laugh when I told them, and more importantly, that people would accept me into the group of your-mom-and-that's-what-she-said-joke-tellers.

    I didn’t think they were very funny, but as time progressed and I continued to be around people who told that joke (mostly in theater and at MCA), I started becoming really good at finding setups for the joke, some very inappropriate, but they were there and I knew people would laugh at them.

    Sometimes they did, but every time I told one I felt like I was cheating. Like this joke wasn’t a real joke, it was just a way to manipulate a person’s sinful nature to get the reaction I wanted. Now I find myself in the same predicament as you, Micah. I can’t stop finding those jokes everywhere I go and I can’t resist saying them sometimes. My response to the forum question was basically “I hope so,” but then I realized that Rebecca had posted before me so I deleted the post. I really hope that there is some way to regain my innocence, but I don’t know when or how it will happen. I guess all I can do is ask God to purify my mind and trust him for it.