Saturday, April 4, 2009

lego's of life

I was building a lego tank today. It's gonna be epic. But, as I was happily building, I tried to put two bricks together and they wouldn't go together. Now, as a lego aficionado, I know this: the pieces are supposed to go together. Something was wrong! The universe held its breath as I looked at the pieces. One of them was broken. Not only was it broken, but it was the same broken piece that I had tried to use a few minutes before. And before that, it was the same broken piece that I had tried to use the last time I built legos. And the last time. I use that kind of part a lot, and this one was broken. This time, instead of putting the broken piece back in the pile and picking up another one... I threw the piece away. It was unbelievably hard for me to do. "It's not completely useless, it still looks okay, maybe I can fix it, maybe I can use it without connecting it" It shouldn't have been that hard to throw away a little lego brick, but it was. It was hard. But once I got it done, I realized that I'd never have to reach into my pile of bricks and pull out that bad one anymore. I never had to worry about my bricks not fitting together again.

Isn't that cool? I can use lego to represent myself. Because part of me is broken and sinful. And too often I find myself face-to-face with that sinful part of myself... and I ignore it. I put it back in the pile and move on. I shouldn't do that. What I should do is throw away the broken sinful bits of me. I should throw away the soggy part of the chicken sandwich. I should actively remove the bad and preserve the good. I should hunt down the unworkable, broken, sinful parts within myself and get rid of them. Instead of just throwing the sinful parts of me back into the pile, I need to remove them. And it's ubelievably hard for me to do that. "It's not that wrong, it feels good, maybe I can fix it by myself, maybe I can keep doing it without fixing it, maybe I can make it part of my life without having it affect any other part of my life." It shouldn't have to be that hard to throw away sin. But it is. It is really hard. But once I get it done, I realize that I'll never have to worry about that again. And the freedom you feel makes it worth the pain.

1 comment:

  1. "And the freedom you feel makes it worth the pain"

    Can I have that imprinted on the core of my being?

    that'd be nice.

    (maybe then i'd remember)